We’re in a culture now where intimacy is a word used within the sexual or romantic context. Rarely do we associate it with faith or our relationship with God. Having found God as his superpower, Brian Evans of Brian Evans Unleashed joins Linda Sutton to bring intimacy to the context of our faith and discuss sex from this perspective. What was God’s vision for sex and intimacy versus what we see now? How can we restore that vision and start living a life with healthier and deeper relationships? Brian answers these questions and more, taking us to the steps towards strengthening our relationship with God and, consequently, to ourselves and the people around us. Join this episode to see intimacy in God’s way and find how He adds His super to our natural
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Intimacy In God’s Way: On Seeing Sex And Relationships Through The Context Of Faith With Brian Evans
I am with Mr. Brian Evans of BE Unleashed from the YouTube show, Brian Evans Unleashed, speaker and author of The S.P.E.A.R. Paradigm, here on the show sharing with us a deep conversation on intimacy with God. That was about identity. Welcome to the show.
Thank you so much. It’s amazing to be here.
It’s good to have you. You have been on the show a number of times as our special guest and resident expert, if you will, talking about relationship with God, intimacy with God. You have a way in understanding the relationship with God that I have not seen. I will definitely give that to you.
I’m honored. Thank you so much for that. I appreciate that.Our relationship with the Father, with God, is the secret sauce in our superpower. Click To Tweet
We have a man that talks about being madly passionate in a relationship with God. Let’s talk about God. You are my modern-day roomie Socrates because that’s what roomie was known for. For those who are new to the show, let’s talk about your work, what the mission and vision of Brian Evans BE Unleashed is.
I have a YouTube channel. It is Brian Evans Unleashed. The mission of the channel is to share my story. It’s my platform to get my story out. I want to make practical relationship with God. I want to take the spookiness out of it, the mysticism out of it. I want to bring it down to where the rubber meets the road in your everyday life. What is it going to take to win? I believe that our relationship with the Father, with God, is the secret sauce in the superpower.
Don’t play with me with the superpower. Don’t start. It’s raining outside. Let’s share with them the superpower piece because you and I know what you mean. It’s my number one quote of the decade. You’ve wiped everybody else out. Even though my roomie quotes, that’s the significant big roomie fan. You said something on one of my shows as we were talking about our connection with God. I want to make sure that they’re with us. You said something that I think was a mic drop moment, pass out, feeling faint kind of moment. What was that phrase?
“God is my superpower.”
We had a Wakanda Forever moment too whenever you say that. When you say that God is your superpower, what does that mean? Help them to understand what it means when you say that.
For me, it’s significant because there was a period of time where I tried to do life without God. I tried to do life on my own and it didn’t work out good for me. How did that work for you? It did not work for me at all. When I reconnected to him in an authentic way, not just playing around or staying on the fringes of a relationship with him but diving in and abandoned, seeking him with my whole heart, that’s when I realized that he adds his super to my natural. That’s what gives me that itch that I can’t explain outside of his presence in my life. He is literally my superpower. I love it.
It’s a powerful thing, number one, the concept itself of hearing you say that he adds his super to your natural. We talk about DC Comics and Marvel. I’m going to have to look in the archives on that because there’s something else I want to make sure we talk about. What’s powerful for me as a woman is to hear a man say that. Let’s talk about that. I don’t even know if you can explain what that means. To hear a man talk about his relationship with God in that way, it’s authentic. It’s genuine and real, not like when I see the yes in a church. It’s real talk. Most people see when men have a relationship think of the church, the pastor or the ushers. It doesn’t necessarily feel as authentic as you might hear David’s relationship described. I don’t know if you can even tell me. What is the experience like for you as a man to have that relationship with God is amazing?
I’m going to try to explain it. I’m going to give it a try. I know for lots of men, if not for all men, it’s tough being vulnerable. Vulnerability is a cornerstone of intimacy because it requires a level of transparency that most men are not comfortable with. The reason why most men are not comfortable with transparency is because all of our lives in most cases, we were taught to be strong, to be hard, to not cry and to keep moving in spite of pain, hurts and trauma. It wasn’t acceptable. Sometimes it’s still not acceptable to show that vulnerability and to show others that I am hurting. I am in pain and I need help. For me, traveling that road in that journey, it almost forced me if I was to survive, to become vulnerable enough to ask for help.
When that happened for me and I saw the healing that came as a result of that, it was almost eye-opening for me. I discovered healing comes in exchange for vulnerability. When I exchange vulnerability, healing comes in its place. I begin to tap into that vulnerability a little bit more. That’s what you mentioned with David. That’s what he tapped into in all the songs that he wrote. He’s the one who would write things like, “Lord, you are my shepherd. I shall not want. You make me to lie down in green pastures. You lead me beside still waters. I’m literally like a sheep and you’re my shepherd.” I’m vulnerable enough because sheep have no defenses. They have to have a protector and a guide. Otherwise, they’re left out in the wild alone. That’s where I feel like I’ve tapped into that because for me, it was about survival.
When you start talking about the vulnerability piece, I find that fascinating that you found that when you opened yourself up to release whatever it was that you needed healing from, it made the space for him to enter into you and enter into your space, so that you could receive the healing from him in your relationship with connection with him.
For me, that has given me the ability to connect with other people on a deeper level. I said this in one of my men’s groups that I’m a part of. They looked at me strange when I first said it. I said, “I never want to forget what it feels like to hurt.” When I said that, they were like, “We were trying to forget all the pain we can forget. What are you talking about?” I believe that pain is what connects us to humanity. It’s one of the few things that we all have in common. I don’t ever want to forget what it feels like to be depressed, to be anxious about something, to lose a loved one, to feel forgotten, the need for acceptance or all of those things that sometimes bring us a certain level of pain. If I remember what that pain feels like when I encounter someone experiencing that pain, I can go to where they are and bring them out.Healing comes in exchange for vulnerability. Click To Tweet
That’s more than Compassion 101, that’s the PhD version. To say that you would be willing to hold onto the memory so that you could help connect with, have empathy, have a relationship with others is a PhD. I don’t think everybody is ready for the PhD level of compassion. This is a dissertation. Time seems to fly by when I’m talking with you. Let’s get right into the intimacy with God, a different context. Last time I talked to you about intimacy with God and people might be concerned about whether or not God would want us to use the word in the images that come with that. When I was talking with you offline, I had a specific thing that was important to me to understand and talking to you about with intimacy with God. That is through the lens of culture.
In culture nowadays, when we think about intimacy in an interpersonal relationship and your relationship with your partner, intimate others or those who you are having relations with. That’s what the people say, that’s what the kids say. People having relations, I see that most people, even though we’re saying intimacy with God, they don’t have a connection between the word intimacy as we understand it and culture and God, number one, because we think of intimacy in a sexual context or romantic context. We don’t always want to associate that with our image and our understanding of God.
On top of that, we’re in a culture where people don’t keep it real. They don’t think God is freaky enough. God is not the way they think in their mind of God and sex, Jesus and sex, religious and sex, or being righteous and sex and intimacy. In their minds they’re like, “That’s boring.” Even though it was real talk, people say, “I like the way the world does it. If I have a relationship with God, then I’m going to have to give up all this over here. If I’m going to connect with God, that means I got to give up all this. This is good over here.” A lot of people come away from having a relationship with God solely for the reason that they say that’s the one thing that they can’t give up. They’re like, “I can do all the other things. I could even be vegan but to give up my freaky, I’m sorry, Lord. Forgive me today, tomorrow and next week.” That is what’s important to me.
For me in this whole conversation that I’ve been having offline and even in my quiet space, God is the one who created sex. He is the creator of sex, the creator of intimacy, the creator of two people with no clothes on, and never had any intention of them ever having any clothes on. I want to point that out if in case you all miss that his original intention was that everybody was going to be naked all the time. There are no fig leaves. That wasn’t in God’s fashion sense. The original creator of sex and intimacy who originally had this designed for people not to have any clothes on. The Lord had high expectations for us. How could we not see and why do we not see all of the passion, that connection and intimacy on this side but we can see it all on this side? That’s my question for you. You are the one that I could have this conversation with. Why are we missing it? What’s happening? What do we need to do to correct it?
One of the things that I find fascinating about intimacy is the connotation of sight and the connection between our vision and intimacy as we think about intimacy. Literally, the word means to see into. One of the things that happened to us when we fail in the Garden of Eden, Adam and Eve failed and sin entered into our realm was our vision became perverted. You spoke about original intent. Everything that God intended the way that we saw that was perverted or flipped upside down. When we see from the perspective of intimacy, sex was only a tool use to reinforce intimacy and to perpetuate intimacy. We, in our perverted fallen state, have inverted that. We put sex before intimacy instead of intimacy before sex. Intimacy, if it’s done right, the sex piece of it should be mind-blowing.
Once we have a proper perspective of intimacy and what that means, then the sex piece, the actual piece that we’re all enthralled with on this side becomes the actual icing on the cake. What sin did for us is it took away our depth of vision. Instead of seeing in 3D, we lost two of the dimensions. We only see one dimension on this side. When God created intimacy, sex, relationships and those types of things, he created from the standpoint of his omniscience. He saw the big picture of what he intended for it to be and what sex should fit into in order for us to be healthy and whole. In essence, God wants us to be whole and healthy, but we’ve lost the concept of healthy sex because of the perversion that sin brought about in our vision. God has to come and correct that. Before he corrects that, we have to submit to intimacy with him. Once we submit to intimacy with him, he starts to correct a lot of the vision problems that we have so that we can see people correctly.
You also started to give out the formula. I don’t want us to lose that. Forget everything else you said. If I wasn’t a listening woman, I would’ve missed everything else you say. Let’s come back to that. It’s powerful that you’re setting up the context of before and after the fall. What I hear a lot is that after the fall, we forget that there was an original intention. There was an original idea. For those who say that God doesn’t change his mind, if that’s true, then he never changed his mind about what his original idea was. For my philosophers out there, you all want to marinate some on that because if he didn’t change his mind and that was his original idea and all this other stuff has had happened, then the question that we want to ask rhetorically is, “When are we getting back to that original idea?” We’re going to talk about that.
I appreciate the fact that you are pointing out that if we do with the way it was designed in the context and that it’s a part of a larger whole, that’s not just sex. This is real. I want to feel good. I want to have my a-ha moment. This is all physical pleasure but it’s a part of a multi-dimensional set of elements that is relationship. That was what relationship was created for. He created man and woman relationship, intimacy, identity, all these other pieces. The way to consummate all of those things was the sexual part of it or the physical expression of intimacy. I’m summarizing what you said. If you see even in the original story, Adam wasn’t having sex right out the gate. There was no woman. It was all about Adam and God anyway. It was all about giving him responsibilities, giving role, building relationship, placing him somewhere. We get all in there. There wasn’t even a woman around in the first phase. Adam’s undivided attention was in building relationship with God.We put sex before intimacy instead of intimacy before sex. Click To Tweet
When you point out that in order to get back on track, if you will, that we have to submit back to our relationship with God and then he will start to realign and reassign, get your 20/20 vision back so that you can get back on track, that is powerful that you’re pointing that out because it gets back to the original order, progression and sequence in the first place. If we put ourselves back in sequence, then we can get back into the essence of mind-blowing activities that you brought up. For those who are focused on getting to the mind-blowing part, if you do 1 through 7, you get to 8. Let’s make that if we can, if it’s possible in this short amount of time to make that practical. I know too a lot of all those who are reading, this sounds good. This sounds good to me. You mean, “I can have Jesus and my mind blown?” This is what we’ve been waiting all our lives for. You don’t get a lot of people say it.
What? I’m going to sit and get down on the floor. Is Paul up in here walking on water? You said submission. Not sure exactly what that means in terms of my audience. I know the word submit. I don’t know. Is that what women are supposed to do to their husbands? We know the word, submission. We learned getting back into alignment and relationship with God first and then allowing him to get us back in order and bringing our site back in place so that we can get back to the multi-dimensional aspect. Walk us through that practically. What does that look like? What do I do? What are the steps I take?
The most practical piece of our life is time. Let’s start there as it relates to the way that we spend time. This is the full spectrum of our lives that we live out in our seconds, in our minutes, in our days. As it relates to spending time, the way that any relationship is established on Earth, between us and other people, and between us and God is by investing the time. We have to begin there, whatever that looks like for someone. It could be scheduling a specific time every day and not to get too deep. A lot of people think of a prayer, “What do I say?” A lot of people don’t think prayer is necessary because of the connotation that the church has given to a prayer. In essence, prayer is simply the same thing we do with each other as we’re communing with each other, we’re talking. We’re having a conversation. It so happens that prayer is with an invisible partner.
The sight correction begins there because you cannot see God. You have to feel for him by faith. Let me break that down. Intimacy is just that. We can’t be talking to a person and not even see them. We can be sitting across the table having dinner. How many families, how many couples sit across from each other every day and not see each other? That’s the cornerstone of intimacy. From a practical standpoint you ask, it’s as simple as both people desiring the same thing, bringing into that space between the two people a shared privacy, a shared moment and then cherishing that, using your seconds and minutes to build upon that moment. That’s where it starts.
Time is the currency of relationship. The first step is by investing time in building relationship, conversation, communion and time with God. That will inform also spending and investing time with your intimate partner. If you do it over here, then you will get a greater sense of what it means to be still in sit. If you can have a conversation and connect deeply with an invisible partner, imagine how much easier it would be to do it with a physical partner. I’m going to make sure I hit it. Onto the next instructions.
From that point, we began to launch into what it means to connect to people in a way that is meaningful. When we think about the time that we spend with each other, it’s not just being physically present. There has to be a certain level of engagement in order for that moment to be meaningful for both people. You have to share a common desire to want to engage with each other. Seeing the person that you’re engaging with properly, many times it requires a second look. It requires looking deeper than the surface. That’s the premise of what it means to speak someone’s love language, to know it and to speak it. It’s as practical as I can get.
We have the spending time in communion with God, the building connection. That’s almost a training ground because if you can get consistent in building a relationship just the act and practices that are involved in having a regular prayer time, a regular devotional time, the act of being still, the act of being quiet, what it takes to listen and hear. Get what you have to say out but also to listen. It takes a different kind of quiet to hear what the Lord is saying to you. If you can get into a habit and practice of listening to him in that intimate way and always having an ear out for him, then you can have a new way of having an ear out for your partner and listening to your partner in a new way.
That’s important because one of the most common breakdowns in relationships is communication. People are not feeling like they’re being heard. “You’re listening to me but you’re not hearing me.” If we can get to a regular practice of hearing God, then it will give you a different way of hearing, not only the words but hearing the spirit, energy and heart behind what your partner is saying. I can see that’s intimacy for real because you’re seeing past the physical into the invisible.
That takes work. It takes a certain level. You set a certain type of silence or quiet, but it also takes a certain type of energy as well. It’s so funny because I was in a training for work and it was a day long class that we got into. One of the exercises that we had to walk through was active listening. We partnered up with people in the class and we went through different scenarios. We had to practice sitting there, listening to them. We think about listening as sitting and hearing words. When you add the active component to listening, it becomes active listening when you’re putting in work to engage your ear, to hear beyond the words. All the words that we speak, they have an undercurrent. That undercurrent is the meaning behind what we say and that’s what you have to listen for, not only from God but also from others.
It’s funny that you said that because it’s bringing me back full circle to the show. One of the tenets that we use in the work that we do at the show is the understanding that only 7% of communication is verbal and 93% of communication is non-verbal. Ninety-three percent of it has to do with body language, body positioning, posturing, alignment, tonality and energetics, and only 7% of it is the actual words. It’s the thing that drives us. In Tango, you have two partners that are communicating without words. It’s pure lead and follow. There is no choreography. You have some principles that guide the way that you move with one another. Based on those principles, you create. You have a leader. You have a follower. It’s so interesting because as a follower, the act of what you have to do as a follower to submit and surrender, to trust and entrust, and to listen to the man’s body in a way that even he doesn’t hear. It’s powerful because the intimacy part of that is real.
One of the things that I tell the gentlemen when they’re training is that, “Your follower can hear your body in a way that you never experienced your own body.” For example, certain muscles will contract in a man’s body while he’s trying to decide what he’s going to do. If she’s against his body, she can hear all those different contractions and tensions that he’s making his body while he’s making the decision. When he makes a decision, his whole body mobilizes to move in the direction of that and your follower can hear all of that. It’s interesting that we’re talking about a new level of listening because it makes me have an appreciation.The most practical piece of our life is time. Click To Tweet
That way of understanding communication between you and your partner can give people a new level of depth. For me, it helps to give a visual in terms of listening. How do you listen beyond your ears? What does it mean to listen to your partner beyond the words? We’re talking about intimacy. We’re talking about body-to-body contact. There’s a lot of communication there that people aren’t aware of. It is an exchange of energies. People gloss over that because it’s convenient to gloss over that but the depth of it is real. In fact, it’s a little aside. A follower can be so intimate with her leader’s body that if he dances with someone else, his body starts to align differently.
If you’re thinking about dancing with somebody else or you start dancing with somebody else literally or figuratively, your woman knows because she knows things about how your body moves and you move with her in a certain kind of way. When you stop doing those patterns, when those patterns start to change, she notices immediately. She might not be able to put her finger on it. She’s like, “He doesn’t normally move like that when he’s thinking, when he’s processing. I know his body. I know how his moves. I know what muscles contract. I know how he adjusts his weight. I know how his breathing changes when he’s in the process of certain things.” When those things start to change and they’re no longer aligned with her, she immediately knows. That’s Listening 101. You brought me full circle to that. I didn’t know that Tango was a different kind of intimacy and relations when you do Tango. That’s why we’re here. You all didn’t know Tango had all the good-good. Tango is the real good-good.
It brings to the surface to the complexity of our workmanship, our bodies, how multi-faceted and multi-dimensional we are. We look upon different people as we go through our day. We see this person. We know this person. We’ve worked with this person. This person is in our family or our circle. Looking upon them is totally different than seeing into them. When you went through that entire revelation of Tango, light bulbs, sparks were flying off in my mind. I think about all of the things that we have yet to tap into as it relates to our creative bodies, our minds, the energies and the flows that we haven’t even tapped into. It’s amazing to think about it.
We’re talking about intimacy and connection. We’re starting to delve into the physicality of it. They all know that my lens is Tango. It’s interesting. One of the elements of culture is because we are focused on the physicality or what we understand to be the physicality. Number one, we’re already having a hard time with this idea of having intimacy with God and then do I have to give up this stuff over here. You gave us the full 101s on how we can start to have both Jesus and our goods. Thank you for that. The other piece that people want to have an issue with, and I want to know your context because Tango has a context of it, is they want variety. They want to be like busy bees and be all over with Paul, Mary and John, Peter, Solomon, and all that.
In a previous discussion, we talked about access. To me, having intimacy with God helps you to be able to not only access more in your relationship with him but also helps you to get into alignment where you can access who I like to call your ordained partner, not 500 partners. I always remind people that God only gave Adam Eve. He didn’t give him a choice. He didn’t ask for his opinion or his input. That’s a whole other conversation. In terms of variety, I’ll give you the Tango context. The Tango context is that a lot of partners when they’re dancing Tango with a partner, once they stumbled upon how complex that interaction is and how much can be discovered in understanding your partner at deeper levels, over time Tango partners or Tango dancers go from wanting to dance with everybody to try all their steps to only wanting to dance with their partner.God never designed life to be one-dimensional. Click To Tweet
Not only is there a conversation that’s unique to them. They don’t experience it with anybody else. They don’t want to experience anymore within it. It’s like, “You’re messing up my groove.” Also it’s about not quantity but quality and the depth. That’s where you see these extraordinary performances because it’s the level of depth of connection, intimacy that the dancers have built with one another that makes the performance so breathtaking that gets back to your mind-blowing part. From the context of building intimacy with God and building intimacy with a partner, how does it address that cultural need to have lots and lots?
This is a sticky one because from the standpoint of culture, I personally believe that we’re so off base with the original intent, and many different areas are culturally. That’s a totally different show and segment. As it relates to intimacy and bringing it back to the oneness of relationship, it’s the original intent of God. He is one God. We look at the trinity. We think three separate gods but that’s not the case. It is just one God but he has, within that Trinity, several manifestations of himself. All of the manifestations of God are still God. In that oneness, we have diversity and we get confused. It’s hard for us to wrap our minds around it because it’s an eternal concept.
When God created Adam and Eve, the reason why intimacy is so important and the reason why the concept of vision and seeing is so important is because when we find that one person that we dance with, we Tango with and we began to learn and know that one person is the taste for all of the other partners begins to fade away. It begins to be right. Our cravings change. Instead of craving multiple various different people, we began to crave diversity in one person. When God brought Eve to Adam, the reason why he was able to say, “This is bone of my bone and flesh of my flesh,” is because when he saw her, the number one benefit of intimacy is not just seeing into the person but seeing ourselves in the person. That is the reason why he said, “This is bone of my bone, flesh of my flesh because I see myself in this person.”
These are important things because you’re giving us the answers. You’re dropping right into the answers. I think meditating on, reflecting on, sitting in and allowing the spirit that is delivering this message, it’s a relief to rest in that. That comes with intimacy with that. If you have intimacy with God, you can ask him all the questions that you have about this particular show. If you have questions about this show, you can take it into your meditation and your prayer time. Since you’re going to practice investing time in communing with the Lord so that you can get a better understanding of how to do intimacy God’s way as brother, pastor, issue, deacon is giving us here, you should get your questions answered.
We’ve covered a number of things. We talked a little bit about this idea of the oneness in the original intent. We talked about how to start to transition back towards aligning back to the original plan and original desire. We talked about this idea of how do we lose our cravings. Get the taste out of your mouth for that. That’s a real conversation but that’s a whole another conversation. Let’s get to one of these final phases that I want to make sure that we cover in this show. Even though you gave us the mind-blowing and I gave the breathtaking part, I want to make sure that we make it plain for people in terms of addressing this whole idea that God’s way of doing intimacy is not freaky enough. We’ve got to get the people where they want. We’ve got to help the people.
You and I stumbled upon this conversation around the Song of Solomon because whenever I get into a conversation with people about intimacy, sex and in the context of doing it God’s way that people go like, “Have you read the Song of Solomon? It’s good, grown and sexy in your Bible.” We can talk about Song of Solomon. How do we address people who are struggling and straddling, if you will, the fence between culture and God’s way of doing things, intimacy, sex, connection? How do people start to take that step across that fence that they’re straddling, addressing the idea that God’s way is freaky and wild enough for the children? If you can answer that, we can give you millions of dollars if you tell us.
I’m sitting here, thinking, processing that, “What is the answer? Lord, help me.”
Let’s start with the Song of Solomon. There is a context within the Bible where you have some people say that he’s talking to God. That’s figurative. Other people are like, “He’s talking about males and stuff.” That’s clearly a woman. He wasn’t talking about how blessed he is. He wasn’t talking about Jesus. He was talking about his woman.
The Song of Solomon is a beautiful illustration of the relationship between a man and a woman in the Bible. It’s right there.
Read your Bible. There’s some Harlequin romance in your Bible. You didn’t even know. I can’t believe it’s not a bother.
I was listening to the late great Dr. Myles Munroe. He was talking about the Song of Solomon in the Bible. He says something that made me crack up. He was like, “A lot of people try to make the Song of Solomon because it is in the Bible. They try to make it spiritual and they try to make it spooky. It’s literally about a lot of sex.” That’s what the book is about. It’s simply about the love and the passion that a man and a woman share between themselves in an intimate relationship. That’s what the book is in the Holy Bible. I feel like in that dimension, we get a glimpse into the very nature of God as it relates to what he intended for our relationships. We get to see the nature of God as it relates to what he intended for our relationships.
What was God thinking about when he created sex? This is what this looks like.
Remember, it’s only one component. Everything that we deal with here in this Earthly realm is simply one facet of God. We’ll never know or be able to comprehend fully what God is like, but he’s given us certain things to give us an idea of what his nature is like. A lot of the miraculous splendor and wonder happens between us, between people interactions, relationships and intimacy. That’s the reason why it’s mind-blowing because it’s a facet of God that he’s given us to enjoy, but because of the way that he created us, he knew that there was a right way to enjoy it. That’s what he created around it. That’s where we get our intimate relationships from. The Song of Solomon is definitely one of those books that slide under the table. We get too many sermons about the Song of Solomon.
That is powerful. It’s something that you said that once again brought me back to something that you were speaking to in the earlier part of our conversation, which is this idea of when we’re talking about relationship and God creating Adam and Eve. I was again paraphrasing. We start talking about the Trinity, and those Trinity were manifestations of God. He said, “Let me make man in our own image.” Man and woman are also the masculine and feminine manifestations of God. The fact that he would give sex as a part of the manifestation that would be shared between those two facets of him that we are made in the image of is when we start talking about one God in oneness, we become the physical reflection and manifestation of the one that’s up even God here on Earth.
“For this reason shall a man leave right and cleave. They shall be one flesh.” That’s the design of God. He’s about unifying. Sex is the unification tool. It causes the knitting to happen. That’s the danger going back to the multiple partners, the danger of having multiple intimate partners, being physically intimate with multiple partners is that act knits you to that other person. That’s where we get the concept of soul ties and the knitting of the hearts together because that’s what sex was designed to do. It does what it’s designed to do very well. It does it good. It is that concept of having the parameters around our mindset when it comes to sexual intimacy that it’s not just something fun to do, that it carries serious connotations with it and serious repercussions if done incorrectly.
It’s interesting because we talk about promises a lot. When people talk spiritual and religious, they talk a lot about promises, the presents, the gifts, the blessings of God. Every last one of those promises, presence and gifts comes with principles and parameters around them. It’s like, “I want this promise.” There are some prerequisites, principles and parameters that come with that promise. We forget that we want the pleasure of intimacy. We want the pleasure of sex without realizing that with every gift, there is a prerequisite and a principle that governs it. There is a parameter around it that yields it. That’s unfortunately why many people, even though they have pleasure, it’s fleeting because they’re not getting the full promise, and they’re not adhering to all the parameters and the principles that govern that particular pleasure or promise.
God never designed life to be one-dimensional. Many times, we take that good thing of pleasure because it feels good and it’s medicated. We take that one dimension and we go all in. We want to only experience that. When everything that God has designed is supposed to be imbalanced in harmony, everything has another component that harmonizes with the imbalances. In Ecclesiastes, it even says something about that. I think it’s chapter three, “To everything, there is a time and a season to every purpose under heaven.” It goes into the counterparts and the balancing, the ebbs and flows, or when you think of it like intimacy.
Thank you so much.
This was extraordinary. For our audience, we are definitely going to have you back. There is so much work to do.
I would love to come back.
Until then, if our audience wants to know how to get in contact with you, how are they going to contact you?
My website is the best way to get in touch with me, BrianLEvans.com. Thank you so much.
We have been on a deep 50,000 leagues under the sea dive with Brian Evans here of BE Unleashed on intimacy with God, how that sets the stage. He’s the blueprint for intimacy with our intimate partner. As we say here on The 22Tango Show, it not only takes two to Tango but it takes you to Tango.
About Brian Evans
There is nothing more empowering and liberating than simply being yourself. On the other hand, there is nothing more debilitating than not knowing your true purpose. I am Brian Evans (BE), author and speaker, and I am called to be a change agent in the body of Christ. For so long I wandered through life not realizing the power that had been invested in me as an ambassador for Christ. This all changed when I accepted the victory that comes from being joined to Christ in an authentic relationship with him. Now…I’m free!
I was born in Birmingham, AL, and accepted God’s call into ministry at 17 years old. I had no clue what would await me on the journey ahead. Life has taught me that God will never fit into any of the boxes that we have tried to put him in. True freedom lies in trusting God with total abandon.
I graduated with a Bachelor of Science degree in Biology, and I am currently working on my Master of Arts in Biblical Studies. My passions are writing and telling others about my story of how God rescued me from depression, anxiety, and fear. My mission: To speak publicly what God tells me privately, and to proclaim on the housetops what he whispers in my ear (Matthew 10:27).