22T 7 | Fairy Tales

 

Even though fairy tales are being used as a channel to present various lessons in form of stories, they will always remain just that – stories. Instead of focusing on happily-ever-after endings alone, why not pay more attention to the entire journey in between? Linda Sutton explains how fairy tales offer more truths than one when it comes to relationships, especially today when people value connection more than ever. From learning the lessons of defeating a huge adversary to how the main character must transform for the better, fairy tales are full to the brim of all kinds of love advice that can transcend even to reality.

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Fairy Tales Do Exist

It is amazing to be able to be back in the saddle, be back sharing with you and be back working on the things that I find the most important in this season and reflecting on and improving the value of the new currency. The new currency truly in this economy is relationships. It has been a trying season. Our topic is how fairy tales are real? One of the things that I have seen in my feeds is that people will be quick to say in some way, shape, form, or fashion, that fairytales are not real. Therefore, get over it, come back to reality. When you look at relationships and you think of this whole happily ever after idea and concept. It is fantastical. It’s a fantasy world. It’s an unrealistic way of looking at relationships. It is unrealistic to pursue a happily ever after. Somehow, fairytales are this false thing. I’m here to dispel that myth.

What if fairy tales are not unrealistic, but the most realistic representation or blueprint on how we can and should approach our relationships. What if that were true? I’m going to help you with that because I’m here to say, yes, fairy tales are real and here is why. First of all, it’s important for us to understand why fairy tales exist in the first place. Depending on the different cultures, whether it’s called a fairy tale or a parable or a story that has proverbs in it. In cultures all around the world, people and communities and parents use stories to communicate, educate and celebrate. Particularly amongst our young, fairy tales are used to teach the young of a community or a family the different values, characteristics and behavioral expectations of the young people and even the adults.

The new currency truly in this economy is relationships. Click To Tweet

Fairy tales, proverbs, campfire stories or whatever you would like to call them, are used by culture in order to transmit to the young in an entertaining way what the expectations of their behavior are. To teach them life lessons, to communicate that information to them, to educate them on different processes and ways of being and ways of showing up. Also, to keep it entertaining so that through the experience of the story, the young person or the young people retain the moral of the story or the proverb or the story or the meaning of the story. In culture, that is what tales are used for, whether they are around the campfire, whether they’re fairy tales, whether they’re folklores, whether there are proverbs. That is the role, goal and purpose of those stories.

They do have a role and they are much real because they are designed with that purpose in mind. Fairy tales are instructional in nature. They are used to teach us, to entertain us and help us to understand what we are supposed to do and how we’re supposed to conduct ourselves to learn lessons. Number two, fairytales, by nature, have a journey, are a journey and represent a journey to the ideal of harmonious everlasting love.

22T 7 | Fairy Tales

Fairy Tales: Fairy tales are used to teach, entertain, and help people understand what they are supposed to do and how to conduct themselves to learn lessons.

 

Specifically, in those fairy tales that are called happily ever after fairy tales, they represent having a journey, meaning the journey from one place to another. Fairy tales within themselves are a journey. They take us mentally on a journey, on a process where the character is going from beginning to end to the goal, which is the happily ever after. They represent a journey to an ideal. When the character starts out and chooses your fairy tale, they are not in the place of everlasting love and happily ever after. They’re not in the place of the ideal or the representation of an idealistic relationship.

At the start of the story, the person is not there, but it is an ideal that they see, an ideal that they desire or an ideal that they are in pursuit of. By nature, fairy tales are designed to show us that there is a journey that we will need to take from where we are to where we want to be to achieve harmonious everlasting love. It is by nature showing us that there is a start to the journey and that we have a journey that we need to go on to arrive at the ultimate goal in the end, which is the happily ever after.

Many relationships fail because they do not successfully confront or overcome the adversary. Click To Tweet

Number three, all fairy tales have an adversary to confront. This is why I said at the outset, one of the main reasons that fairy tales are real is because they probably are the most realistic representation of what relationships go through or what people in relationships go through. Why? There are few fairytales that I know that I could pull off the top here in America, specifically the ones that we think of that involve a princess, a prince and some evil stepmother. In all of them, one of the common elements is that there is some adversary that the main character or the main characters in the story have to confront and overcome to come together or to arrive in coming together to live into the happily ever after.

For anyone that has been in any real relationship, we understand that relationships can have their challenges. They can have issues that need to be confronted and need to be addressed, whether those are real or imagined, whether they’re figurative or literal. There is some adversary. The adversary might not be in the form of an evil stepmother or wicked witch, but the adversary that the main character might have to confront might be a job loss, an identity crisis, some illness in the family, a change of career or industry, a pandemic or a natural disaster. There could be any number of things. It doesn’t have to be a dragon or a wicked witch to represent the type of adversity that has to be confronted in relationships, but fairytales inherent with them usually have an adversary to confront.

22T 7 | Fairy Tales

Fairy Tales: By nature, fairy tales are designed to show people that there is a journey to be taken from where you are to where you want to be to achieve harmonious, everlasting love.

 

Fairy tales, number four is to have an adversity to overcome. There’s usually something that challenges that the main character has to confront that they didn’t have to confront before. At that point where the main character, the protagonist has to face an adversary, there’s usually some adversity associated with the adversary that the main character has to overcome and get on the other side of, to achieve the desired goal and end. It’s not a matter of confronting the adversary, but whatever the adversity that the adversary represents, the main character has to make the decision that the only way that I’m going to arrive at achieving the happily ever after, the goal, the princess, the prince, the palace, the gold pot at the end of the rainbow or whatever the fairy tale is, they realize that I’m going to have to either go through it, around it, over it or eliminate it to get to the other side.

That’s important because a lot of relationships are confronted with that thing, whatever that adversity or that adversary is. Many relationships fail because they do not successfully confront the adversary or confront and overcome the adversity successfully so they can get over to the other side. It could be not just one adversity, but a number of adversities and their failure to successfully overcome, defeat or come through successfully that adversity is usually the breakdown of a relationship. The fairy tales show us in a variety of ways the characteristics that the protagonist must have or the main character must have that they didn’t know that they had before. They had to draw upon, cultivate or activate or allow that thing within them that they didn’t have in the beginning to emerge so that they can successfully defeat, overcome or have triumphed over the adversity or the adversary.

Number five, how the protagonist or the main character handles the adversary or the adversity determines the outcome of the story or the relationship. There are a couple of reasons why that is important, how they handle it, whether they take it on or they run away, whether they go and have the courage to defeat it, or whether they allow themselves to be defeated. How they handle that moment determines what happens next, whether or not they achieve the goal of everlasting love, whether or not the prince gets the princess, whether or not the peasant becomes the king, whether or not the princess or the situation is rescued. Sometimes being rescued has a bad rap, but whether or not to be the main character has an opportunity to demonstrate his or her ability to protect that, which is important to him to protect that, which he has charge of or protect and take care of and have the courage to do something to achieve a goal or an outcome.

Relationship oftentimes will have to come against several trials and tribulations that are inherent in the nature of life. Click To Tweet

Number six, fairy tales force the protagonist to grow and to transform in a way that is essential to the success of the relationship and the everlasting love. For example, in many of these fairytales, it’s like a show of courage. Perhaps the main character did not have to demonstrate courage, strength, perseverance, a sense of resolve, a determination to succeed and triumph, a willingness to sacrifice, a willingness to become stronger or discover talents and skills and strengths that they didn’t know they had before. Those sorts of skills become necessary to ensure the long-term success of a relationship or an outcome or everlasting love. Relationships over the lifetime of the relationship oftentimes will have to come against a number of trials and tribulations that are inherent with the nature of life.

A lot of times, as a single person or as a person who is not in a relationship or a person who is not in a leadership role or a person who does not have responsibilities, there are certain skills that they don’t have to have. There’s a certain way that they don’t have to show up. To step into a role of leadership, relationship or caretaker or of having additional responsibilities in the territory, there are certain skills and character traits that have to be activated, tried and brought to the forefront to demonstrate, not only to that person but to those around them, that they have the ability to take on the next step in their life, the next rung of leadership, the next role or the next set of responsibilities.

22T 7 | Fairy Tales

Fairy Tales: Some fairytales are cautionary tales that let you know what not to do, but many of them are blueprints of the type of journey that you as an individual must go to.

 

Number eight is fairytales that provide us the ultimate relationship blueprint in which we can understand and can be entertained about how to go about having a successful relationship. Some fairytales as cautionary tales to let you know what not to do, but many of them are a pathway in a blueprint of the type of journey that you as an individual must go upon to develop the skills, the tools, the fortitude, the resolve, the vision and most importantly, the commitment that is required to have a happily ever after and everlasting love that fairytales promise at the end.

It is fascinating that fairytales do give us the blueprint and show us that with a sense of commitment, the development of skills and character traits like courage, perseverance, fortitude, strength, strategy, vision, creativity, that if you bring all of these elements to bear and you confront the demons. You confront the adversary and the things that are in the way or attempt to keep you from arriving at an everlasting love, once you’re willing to confront and defeat those things. Whether those things are literal like a monster or whether those things are like in those fairytales where the person is forced to look in the mirror at themselves to see themselves in a new way or become a new person or transform themselves to be ready for the kind of relationship that is everlasting love or your happily ever after.

The next time someone tells you that fairy tales are not real, the next time that someone tells you that it’s unrealistic to believe in a happily ever after, you will know you’ll be able to smile to yourself and realize and know that fairytales are real. Fairytales give us a map, a construct with which we can follow to understand what we should expect as we go in pursuit of a happily ever after and what we might need to do, confront or deal with or overcome to arrive at that harmonious everlasting love that we call happily ever after.